The Barricaded HeartI remember nights when I didn’t remember nightsIf I remember rightLife was cold like December iceWhat made me most sick is that my brother couldn’t get the devil off of himNow I have to press nine every time just to talk to himLife’s throwing shots at me but I can only give what I receiveGun powder on clothes, now I’m washing my machineOn the block these bullets were like feelingsYou can catch them at any timeI was tired of feeling, so I started moving with any kindIgnorant to the inflicted pain you would’ve thought I was blindI guess pain and I have always been adjacent, it can never slide off me  I grew up in a maze                                                                                                                             Selfless, I’m self raised  There was hatred in my love   One night, after so many fightsSo many bruisesTaking L’s every nightI just got tired of losingSo many excuses I just got tired of usingWhatever to keep me from going underI was ready to do itBut I still woundedProbably from screaming STOP!My pop was abusive We’re at the bottom, why does he have to keep reminding me?                                                        Pain is compulsory                                                                                                                          Suffering, optional                                                                                                                                        So I spent time alone to define life                                                                                              It got so lonely in the week                                                                                                                        No surrender, no retreat                                                                                                                           Some family on my tree can only hear my branch when they use to hear my leaves                                    This pain led me to streets                                                                                                                                It became the goat to my sheep                               Eventually I asked myself                                                                                                                        Would you rather have blood on your jeans or mud on your leaves?                                                    Now, I’m trying my best to stay grounded                                                                                                Keep my head in the game and not in the hype                                                                                         I remember days I went into the house to get away from the storm                                                           And the rain started leaking through the roof                                                                                         Everyday I’m seeking change                                                                                                                    You don’t know how far I really came                                                                                                              All the drugs to portray all the pain                                                                                                         Praying God can break these chains                                                                                                    Because this is my slavery                                                                                                                              My brain, the home of the bravery                                                                                                             So my blessings are made for me                                                                                                                     If it was your time would you really wait for me?I learned the hard wayNow I’m going all the wayBall like I’m HardawayWhere I’m going it’s hard to sayI just know in this environment I will not stay Because they tried minus my pluses to divide my people                                                                                           Ambition plus depression divided by oppression, Can you tell me what that equals? My whole life, I had my family under one roofThe wind blew and took half of them to YOU Wow this life really gambles with youthI wish I could hold it and snatch it in two My granny once told me: son nothing is coming for freeBut now I’m at the Grammy’s and everyone coming for freeThe writing was on the wall, now we know who destiny’s child is Immortal figure, trying to put ring on it like Beyoncé Married to success but I’m divorcing what they all say God gives his hardest battles to his strongest soldiersWe never see the value of a mission until it’s over Now my family and I can finally lay on the beachShare a peaceful feastThe worthless child, The reasons the family is out of the wildSo if you take a minute and look at what I’ve been throughYou would never give up because look where it’ll get you