Winston ran down stairs with a lack of interest after his confrontation with O’Brian. On serval occasions the daunting room brought, a sense of fondness; apathetic, empty fondness, for Big Brother in his mind. Winston didn’t really remember what happened, most things were fuzzy for him. He vaguely could remember anything that happened in that room. Shortly after Winston began to recall a dream; no, a vision of him meeting Julia. An un – bearable sense of nostalgia was trapped within his psyche, fighting for release. Winston halted to gaze at a poster not too far off in the distance. It read: “Domination”, as if to make a humble brag. Immediately to the left of this word was an engraved picture of Big Brother glaring back at him.
The war immediately came into vision as if implanted; it was the war with Eurasia. Winston had known this, but he began to question himself unsurely. Soon after he arrived at the industrial park, without luster as if this possible meeting had no paramount. Not too far off was the woman who Winston foresaw meeting, Julia. She had caught his eye from a distance as did the telescreens; he had been staring awhile. Why did he care? Thought Crime was nearly impossible for him to commit, he was un-doubly loyal. Julia began to beckon him with a gleaming smile and a slight hand gesture.
Julia: “Good – morning Winston”
Winston: “Good – morning , Julia..”
Winston slowly studied her, he had seen her scarlet sash which he glared at with much intent.
He stared for quite some time; She was quite aware to this. Winston saw this as an emblem and a personality he wasn’t familiar with.
Winston: “When did you start wearing that?”
Julia: “What do you mean? My sash?”
Winston: “Yeah, your sash””I’ve always worn this. They don’t approve of sex, Big Brother of course, why wouldn’t I wear it?” Winston peered into the atmosphere. He tried to recall on his unexpected encounter with O’Brian. He couldn’t seem to truly recollect why he was with O’Brian. It made Winston worrisome, but why? He looked back at Julia who wore the sash with a sense of un – relentless pride. Winston couldn’t remember any previous moment in time where she had worn it in such an un- common manner. That’s when it hit him, an expeditious recollection of the past. He didn’t remember Julia as a clean-minded anti-sex affiliate. He immediately remembered her as a sex crazed Individual. She was an extremely defiant girl who absolutely apposed Big Brother and The Party. Julia was creating such an innocent façade which never existed, why? Winston, completely baffled began to ponder intensely about O’Brian and Room 101. What had he done to him and why is he suddenly recreating his personality. A rush of memories came flooding back.
Winston remembered was is in Room 101. Rats. He was afraid of rats. O’Brian used them to cause memory loss. It wasn’t just a brainwashing technique. O’Brian had infected Winston with a disease called Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. O’Brian was repugnant, he created images, words, stories and pseudo-love for Big Brother and the Party.
Winston remembered O’Brian explaining his brutal cynicism for the Party, yet he continues to convince Winston that the Party and Big Brother are to be trusted. O’Brian was a master of doublethink. O’Brian compiles contradictory sentences, phrases and stories. He believes he could defeat Winston. Suddenly Winston began to speak.
Julia: “Yes Winston?”
Winston: “Come travel with me to the countryside, we have to talk.”
The two of them walked silently and awkwardly for what seemed like an hour, was only five minutes. Contemplating the situation, Winston took a break from walking. He began looking around, his silence hanging in the stale air. He opened his mouth half-heartedly wanting to say something, but he stopped himself. Not knowing how to approach the subject he led Julia to keep walking. To break the silence, Julia looked over to her right at Winston.
Julia: “Hey! What’s the matter?”